Have you two ever considered marriage counseling. Sounds strange but my wife and I have separate finances as well. After 7 years of marriage we finally realize that our communication skills and our ability to compromise for the good of the family is just not there in a lot of ways. If you are in that much debt, canceling your magazine subscription or turning off the lights is not going to help any. My wife could cancel all her magazine subscriptions but if I can’t get out of Home Depot without spending $500 each visit, we’ll never get any were on our debt. Christmas eve about 11pm, the wife pulled down from the attic about $1000 worth of presents for the two kids. (years and 1 year) I had no idea she spent that much! We are not broke, so we can afford stuff, but why wasn’t that shared with me! I’m sure the boys x-mas would have been just as good on much less. Is that a spending problem or a marriage problem. I tend to think both. We haven’t been to marriage counseling.
I’d me interested if anyone in this group feels theirs is a relationship problem rather than a spending problem. Has anybody ever been to marriage counseling for debt management? I’d love to hear about it in the blog.
So therefore, he, the big ol’ Man-E-a-Man shouldn’t need ‘wifey’ to bail him out with the $800.00. Let him know there are consequences to his actions and do NOT bail him out.
Also, have you tried to speak with an SSA case worker or disability advocacy group? My fella’s sister has 2 kids, both very ADHD and Dillan (The eldest) was getting SSI based on the condition from the age of 3 1/2 years old.
Once he got SSI, he also got medicaid to take care of his medical expenses. I understand that the pre-marriage workshops in the Catholic church deal with money matters as well as all other aspects of marriage. Just my two cents.
Don’t know ALL of it because she lived in her own house (Her dad’s, actually) and not with us. Dillan needed the medicine and she was what I would call ‘Working Poor’. She got a wage, but not enough to afford medical care. IIRC, there’s also programs like “Healthy Families” which offers low cost healthcare to families with children under 18 I think.
As state to states can vary, you’d have to call or check at the SSA.gov pages for your particular state.