I have about 5 cents worth of opinion about marriage and financial matters

I have about 5 cents worth of opinion about marriage and financial matters. Remembering back to when I first met my husband (boyfriend then) – he saw the debt problem I had and told me point blank that if I continued to spend money as irresponsibly as that and not work with him as “team” we could call it quits right away.

This was when we wanted to just move in together and he was right.

We did not get married until my entire debt was paid off and we could afford a house together. We’ve been married about five years now and I have come to accept that he is and always will be more financially savvy than me, although I have learned and grown in that area a lot. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the man or woman in the family who has more financial sense- it’s usually one or the other and I firmly believe that it can’t be a “blow” to anyone’s ego. Let it go. It’s a team effort as a marriage and the reality is that the financial irresponsibility of one partner (man or woman) can cause two people who really love each to split up. IS that worth it? – NO. Man or woman must become humble and realize that it’s for the good of the LOVE they share and life they vowed to make for each other. Remember those good ol’ vows?

Get rid of the selfishness and stop thinking “I deserve this or that and I don’t want to feel punished” It’s kind of childish. I can say that because I had that attitude and it made me a very unpleasant person.

We never spend on large purchases without talking about it first, we budget everything out – so we may live comfortably and we agree on nearly all of our expenses upfront. We have budgets as personal spending allowances that we don’t have to account for every cent. I always do anyhow because I have gotten into the habit of doing that mainly because, it feels good to know where my spending money is going. This year we had almost no budget for Christmas (we are having our first baby – anyday now! and I stopped working just so we could get pregnant)I knew ahead of time -like in September that we werent going to spend anyhthing for X-mas presents, so I started saving a few dollars each week from my allowance to buy frames and I printed copies of my artwork, framed them and gave those to people as gifts. Everyone in our family loved them and we had a wonderful time together!

When a couple both have limited funds to live on – making finances a together task is really important for the stability of the marriage and the whole family.

I just want to clarify – that my last message about marriage and finances is directed toward the spouses who need to step back and let their partner take over the finaces for awhile – be it the man or woman.

Let them read my last post if they need the attitude adjustment.

I agree with other posts. Whatever you do DON’T TOUCH YOUR SAVINGS!!! That money is yours from before the marriage. Your husband needs to make some changes. Without those so hard changes he’ll get right back into debt and likely even farther than he is now.

Budgeting question

No kidding! I work PT and have at least 18 hours a week from that. But, sometimes I have more. Now, as I also get SSI from blindness (disability type I think) I can fluctuate a lot in that. For example, they see I had 3 paydays in December, so they at SSA are cutting my benefits by about $225.00 in February. The third payday was on the 29th and went to January’s bills, but they do not care, I am docked heavily.

SOOOOOOOOO, out of January, I must take that money and put it into my bank account for February’s bills. As a collector’s taking $300.00 a month, I must make sure that, and the house insurance money is there. If not, I shall be in a world of hurt if they do not get paid.

So, month to month, SSA lets me know what THEY think I can live on and deal with it I must. I can’t pre budget much that way, but I do have roommate’s rent which is reliable, and can figure 18 hours a week at least. anything over that, once calculated for two months ahead, is budget-able.

When I first took the job I have now, I was on an hourly scale. I tried so hard never to take off, because I knew I could not make it to the next week paycheck if I did. I have been salaried for about 4 weeks now, and my check only fluctuates one time a month for dental insurance. But it is still hard to budget when you depend on someone else’s money, like a spouse, who is seasonal in employment and has bad back, so I have learned that I cannot depend on that money, all has to be done with mine.

It’s really hard when your hours vary week to week. Also right now (January thru March) the hours where i work get cut way back. The store doesn’t get a lot of business in these months so they cut hours to help cover their expenses without caring we have bills to pay too. Last year i was getting 12 hours a week most of the time and that’s not enough to even cover half the rent on the cheapest place so I had to move in with my parents (who charge me $300 a month plus half the electric bill and I buy food for my son and me).